Our local Fete is over this year
And the money raised brought much good cheer.
For your hard work, our president cracked
We’re giving vouchers - two free Big Macs.
Whilst fast food outlets I do detest
I was genuinely grateful none the less.
So I grabbed Mylanta and the freebie vouchers
And went in search of the famous arches
Obese and languid, some coarse and loud
I stood in line with the Maca crowd.
Ankle biters, pimply teens
An unhealthier lot you’ve never seen.
The sales girl spoke in a language odd
Some mumbled jargon from the land of Nod.
But vouchers clear and hand signs won
I got my burgers - a coffee, and a bun.
Gripped by hunger I was strangely driven
To take a mouthful of my Yankee heaven.
The burger squelched like a fresh cow pad
And it ponged like an up-chuck I’d once had.
Then shocked to the core, too stunned to speak
From around the edge, something yellow did seep.
My stomach squirmed, on the first bite
A taste so vile I spat it out.
My bun was stale and the coffee bitter
So I placed them all in the bin for litter
And as I left I sadly realised
American Junk food has sullied our lives.
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